I had a sudden memory jolt yesterday of being about 14 and paralysed by how many words there are. So many to choose from, how could you ever plump for one let alone a set of words together and the things they do to each other? (I was clearly a blast).
It was weird to remember because I don't feel at all like that now. I guess you start choosing because you have to, and then one day you realise you have patterns. Words and phrases you use all the time. Which is kind of necessary and presumably part of what you'd call an Identity. But also perhaps a kind of loss.
